Ok, from my previous blog, I briefly touched upon my journey to enlightenment and so forth. There's that. And I also touched upon how my job suck's big fat stinky ass. There's that. Allow me to elaborate on my frustrations, please be patient, I do have a point to make.
So my evening starts with the sexist little french fucker, and ends with the two-faced smarmy welsh barman. This is a regular nightly part of my job. Not only am I meant to keep up with the swaying to and fro rules of the establishment in which I work, keep a smile on my face whether PMT's decided to make a jazz-hands appearance or not, and play hide and seek with all the bloody crockery and correct menus just to do my job properly but I have to contend with unnecessary berations about next to nothing because some male chauvinist with the attitude of a pretentious neanderthal has decided his ego needs a boost. And really, I hope that they go home feeling like the big man for verbally abusing a young girl, otherwise my nightly bruised self-esteem is all in vain.
My personal quest is to gain an annoyingly calm disposition in all matters and when confronted with all walks of life and attitudes. To be positive and encouraging, hopefully inspiring (at best). I dream of being this floating mistress of spirituality and deep understanding of the world. Like a sort of modern shaman of wisdom and hope. Then I go to work and all my learnt positivity of the day fucks off out the window and I look at my peers and scream in my head 'DIE MOTHERFUCKERS! DIE!', with a matching internal image of myself dressed as rambo raining bullets on those tossing fuckwits.
Honestly, I'm a pacifist, but these 'people' are actively stunting my growth, harshing my mellow in a way that makes me feel that I'm part of some sort of nasty Pacman game.
The point I'm making is simply this, maybe it's just the UK, or England, or maybe just Leicester but the world that I'm living in seems to find it alot easier to push other people down, to present their negativity to everyone they meet like a massive burning christmas tree. I wonder though, am I meant to be impressed with these people's ability to make every glass half empty? Should I be in awe of the swift and dexturous way with which you tore that young kitchen apprentices spirit down? I applaud you, little miss, for how you look at people in love like they are coupled paedophilic rapist lepers, you miserable, incoherent, muttering, spiteful, two-faced little bitch!
This may seem like a hypocritical response, but I swear, negativity and bitterness is infectious.
If you were to imagine two over-dressed iconic figures, one good, one evil at battle with each others force fields, (then let me paint it to you this way) at this time evils force is overpowering the goods.
Why is it so easy to hurt people rather than build them up? I realise that it's dog eat dog world out there, but for example, individuals are acting like this GLOBAL recession is attacking them personally and everyone else is at fault for it. I don't want to sound like some idealistic tree-hugger but why can't we all just get on? Where is the love I hear you sing Black Eyed Peas, indeed?
You would think that some sort of sophisticated knowledge of respect and appreciation would have taken hold of us by now, but let's face facts, the reality is that we're all still just petulant, obnoxious school children screaming at each how much better than each other we are. Girls and boys STILL argue about which is the better sex, instead of accepting each others complementing differences. Does it not occur to them that by combining the feminine and masculine, the black and the white, the yin and the yang, that you can create something twice as interesting, fun and powerful than it's individual parts? Nope, because we're all too busy stubbornly stomping our feet to actually use of brains, arn't we?
If you're reading this, I ask you to try and be nice to someone when your initial reaction is to scowl at them, at least try and see where it gets you, variety is the spice of life after all.
For now, my plan is to hold onto my confidence for dear life everytime I go into work and hopefully find some kind of work which means I don't have to talk to people too much, so I can carry on in peace with my spiritual journey towards annoying unaffectedness.
Peace!
PS. Legalize Marajuana, Prime Minister Cameron, you uptight cunt!
No comments:
Post a Comment